cryptograph(y|er) jokes?

[Wagner,Ray]

Not much cryptography in here, but...


Security Haiku

I wake from deep slumber
Pager vibrates with possible intrusion alerts
Why did we buy IDS?

My wireless LAN
Is used by many of my neighbors
Perhaps I should try encryption?

The boss wants to know
Why the web site is defaced
I shall blame Microsoft.

Do we need more security?
The CEO asks with no sarcasm
Sound of one hand clapping.

I stare with disbelief
At the size of the balance due
Can this be identity theft?

Patch patch patch patch patch
Patch patch patch patch patch patch patch
Patch patch (rest) SoBig Damn...

The manager screams at me
Anti-virus software has failed him
Sig file two years old...

CEO needs a new machine
His has no disk space for email
His music folder is 85 gig...

I have so many passwords
No one will think of checking the
Sticky note under the keyboard

The policy is very clear
But there can't be any great harm
In downloading just one game?

If I forward my email
To  MSN, or Yahoo, or my Palm
What is the big deal?

You have an access card
I am in need of system access
I see no issue here.

Anyone can see the elegance
Yet the sales numbers continue to disappoint
Whither the year of PKI?

My thumbprint is my identity
But what if the template is stolen?
I only have these ten.

Finger scanners with molded gelatin
Facial recognition - picture and a hole punch
Are biometrics really an option?

No one would target us.
Forget it - it won't happen to us.
Why were we not protected?

--
	Raymond R. Wagner, Jr., Ph.D.
	Vice President and Research Director
	Information Security Strategies
	Gartner  
	ray.wagner at gartner.com

Gartner IT Security Summit Europe 
20-21 September 2004 - Hilton Metropole - London, UK
http://www3.gartner.com/2_events/conferences/sec5i_section.jsp



-----Original Message-----
From: owner-cryptography at metzdowd.com
[mailto:owner-cryptography at metzdowd.com]On Behalf Of Hadmut Danisch
Sent: Saturday, June 19, 2004 4:57 PM
To: cryptography at metzdowd.com
Subject: cryptograph(y|er) jokes?


Hi,

does anyone know good jokes about
cryptography, cryptographers, or security?

regards
Hadmut

[Moderator's note: I know of several security systems that are jokes
in and of themselves, but that doesn't seem to be what you meant. :)
--Perry]
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